Mucky Foot Productions Ltd
Born January 1997
Died November 2003
A life in words:
Tom F: "the only thing I'm not good at, is giving birth"
Aidan (lead artist): I’m not an expert in anything
Jamie: I don’t understand humour sometimes...
Andy H: I could take a boy...
Andy F: Far too addictive but... after 30 mins... you just have to stop... I ached for hours after beating the kung fu on Hard.
Gary: Look at me, I’m invisible
Aidan: It was really cheap, you know £2 in an everything for a pound shop.
Mike D: It's odd, ‘cuz you don't usually get sharp stabbing pains in your genitals... not usually
Gary: Guy does.
Aidan: What’s that stuff thats got codeine in?
Mike B: Codeine?
Aidan: err yeah.
Gary: Anyone got any crack?
Guy: I've got _a_ crack...
Gary: Guy, you know your crack isn't any good
Mike D: It is highly addictive though...
Marie: Tom you stick it in, but I’ll have to wiggle it.
Martin: My tongue won't go down that far.
Gary: Just hope you haven't drunk all your sperm away.... that's not what I meant! Fuck!
Gary: Why is it jerky? There's nothing down here to jerk off!
Shane: They'll come everywhere -- all over the walls and everything!
Guy: I like reading books in the bath too so they swell up
Shane: If you want to sit next to me you have to touch my knee.
Marie: The only reason they don't sack me is because I'm blackmailing the boss. But hey, I can look at yours if you want...
Martin: It’s like knitting, I can just sit here and play with it.
Mark R: You know when you’re lying in bed and feeling a bit stiff?  Its like that all day.
Simon to new barmaid: If I wasn’t married I’d have you.
Fin: Get off my sausage.
Gary: I remember giving you one, Marie.
Marie: I’m going to be under a lot of peoples desks today.
Gary to Mark A: Accept your mediocrity
Mark A: That was a much longer conversation inside my head.
Mark R: My girlfriend got a puncture.
Mark B: Its a bit stiff, I can’t do it one handed
Mike D: I think we should stick with stabbing the orifice
Tom F: It just gets better the harder you pull it
Simon: If I wanted emersion I’d take a bath
Karl (to Mark R): My new postman looks just like, its a bloke
Gary: I’ve just got this image of a really anemic albino penis!
Mike B: I was making lots of excited “Ooooh” noises and I had my hand between my legs
John: Physics will be the death of me
John: If another person calls me Keith Chegwin... I don't know what I'd do
John: I'm so excited I just farted
Ollie: Obviously going in a straight line is pretty straightforward.
Gary: Sorry, 3 minutes is 4 weeks in computer games.
Chris to Rich: Why are you holding my pencil?
Mark A: I’m inside her, and its horrible.
Gary: It’s not an illusion she’s muff-tastic
Mark B: It’s like every day is a gimp day in this office
John S: They were all twelve years old, or however old kids are nowadays.
Gary: I defy anyone not to recognize their own anus in a line up.
John S: I’m so Jeff Bridges!
Mark R: I shall palm it off like a palming off machine.
Mark A: but I don’t want to be whipped by an ape, I want to be whipped by a girl with big boobs.
John S: I’ve found myself doing it a lot lately, and it usually involves my cock, and men.
Marie: I’ve already blown my friends off two weeks in a row.
John S: What the fuck are you doing you fucking monkey, gibbon chimp-boy?  (Three people turn around)  Err...Chris.
Mark B: I think we should have special one-handed StarTopia game.
Gary: There’s nothing wrong with wearing your mothers clothes, it helps you discover things.
Mark A to Marie as she wakes: You look sprightly, do you wanna race?
Jan: Martin cant go as low as Eidos.
Mike D: If we can just sell few enough we might make it to number one.
Marie: Who’s in charge of bending?
John S to Chris: I was going for your tits not your face.
Tom I: Marie’s now redundant but I don’t have the heart to take her out.
Marie: Karl had me in stitches last night with a bike pump
Marie: Gary, you’re going down tonight!!
Jan: I’m sure as I’ve got older my shits have got less satisfying.
Gary to Cathy C: You and us are all going down together.
Karl: I’ve made it very expensive to come up my port!
Marie: I’ll go 3-way with Karl and Dimes and see what happens.
Mark A: It sounded so much better in my brain.
Mike B: Looks like I’ve got a night of pocket entertainment to come.
Mark S: You may laugh now but just you wait till I’m on the cover of Time as the great winkle baron!
Chris: Not me! Im not contributing to the bulling that goes on around here. You can fucking well do it!
Fin: Who would have thought 20 years ago that you’d be sitting here doing donuts?
John: He looks like he’s playing with his arse. Oh did I ever tell you about the time I saw some otters?
Chris: When I was working on Urban Chaos I was a kept man.
Marie: He kept on stopping right outside my bush!
Mark S: Jan, can I see some of your dirty stuff?
Gary: I want a bigger hole with less of a ring.
Chris: Its a shame there aren’t six letters in the word utopia
Chris: Oh how I’ve missed your muffin munching!
Chris: It is chemically impossible for me to get drunk!
Justin: I use up there for thinking and down there for dancing.
Ash: If I had a pension of a couple of thousand pounds of cheese Id be a happy man.
Chris: Oi! Gary turn your fan off I can smell your meat from here.
John S: If you tickle me hard enough I’ll get my lipstick out.
Mark A: While playing with Mike last night I wanted to hire every horny guy.
Marie: I had some weird guy in a van.
Gary: Whenever you see two skeletons shagging it don’t seem quite right.
Justin: I hope they remember me, for always being never not me.
Gary: If I had genitals I’d be a stone heavier.
Mark R: I cant seem to get it up.
Marie: The sun comes up, and Marie goes down!
Guy: There didn’t seem to be a lot of white stuff in it but when I emptied it into the sink a lot of white stuff came out.
Mark B: We need to fix some of the warnings
Mark A: Yeah we need to be more anal about them, but not you know, super anal!
Mike D: (ears prick up) I think I’ve seen that film
Gary: Can I take a digital photo of you?
Marie: Yes, but does it have to be of my face?
Jan: All you have to do is be prepared to put your hands in somebody elses piss
Guy: See, the thing is Wayne’s already done that
Mark B: Ahhh! Penetration is less than thickness!
Mike D: Ali says that all the time.
Mark A: Well done Rosey.
Mark R: Thank Richard.
Mark A: I’ve already stroked Richard.
Matt: He’s having trouble with the microphone rubbing on his beard.
Mark A: Who, Mike Burnham?
Matt: No, Mr. B.
Matt: Did you ever see Juniors helmet?
Jan: No but I’ve seen Chris’s
John: I've lost it, I can't find the buttons, and when I do find them I don't know what to do with them...
Gary: Are we still talking about sex?
John: What’s that movie all about freaks called?
Gary: Freaks?
John: Yeah thats it.
Mark A: Marie can I put you on a dating site?
Marie: NO!
Mark A: Oh, but I want to look at the men.
John: 25th century thats what 400 years time?
Graeme (Eidos producer): No longer than that. What are we in now? The 2nd?
Tom I: It sort of works. There’s a great big bung where the excitement ought to be.
Mark R: Thats not a quote. I deliberately said, I always have red poo!
Marie: I got lucky in the disco yesterday
Mark R: I just thought I’d shove it in you, and hopefully impregnate you.
Chris: I could make Simon squeal!
Special section in memory of Ashley Hampton
Ash: What's that train you got last night?
John: The nine minutes past to Gatwick.
Ash: Where's that go?
Ash: Did anyone see that program on the guys who make electric chairs? What was it about?
Ash: What date is the fifteenth?
Ash: Those Mission speakers of yours Gary what make are they?
Ash: So where is Worthing rugby club based?
Ash: What day is Christmas?
John: Saturday.
Ash: Yeah but what date is it?